I am fat

I am fat. I always have been fat. I was born fat and I will die fat.

Yesterday was the first day that I wore a legit bathing suit to the beach since I was a child. Up until this point, I would wear dresses and claim that I didn’t want to swim, or wear shorts with a swimsuit top. I never had the courage to wear something that showed my thick thighs, cellulite, and rolls. And yet, here I am in all my fat glory. I have arrived to the point of my life where I do not care what others think and I also am learning to love myself regardless of what society says about me.

What does society say about me? Well, in just a quick glance of my social media accounts I see posts about a man that wants praise for loving his “curvy wife” (and she’s not even half of my size), Usher maybe had sex with a fat woman and nobody can believe it because she’s fat and he’s a rich celebrity, Rihanna has probably the most attractive body in the world and folks are saying they’re here for her chubbiness (WTF), and a former body positive pro-fat clothing designer announces she’s having weight loss surgery.

Here’s the thing, I am a nurse. I know that fat can be unhealthy. I know that we are programmed to believe that our body has to look a certain way in order for the world to assume we are not going to fall over from a heart attack or need to shoot up some insulin before eating dinner. Have you ever cruised the comments section of a body positive post? Folks are very concerned for the fat person’s health and it’s always someone like SANDRA FROM TULSA asking that we not “promote obesity” because “it is dangerous and this person is clearly unhealthy.”

By the way, did I mention that I am a nurse? As a nurse, I can tell you that there is data from years of research that some fat folks are healthier, and fat shaming never works, or that the depression and anxiety associated with body shaming and bullying often leads to suicide. And I can assure you, SANDRA FROM TULSA, nobody is promoting obesity. Do you think that because I posted a full body picture of myself on the internet that the entire world is going to think, “Oh my god! We should all be fat!” No. That will never happen. You know what does happen though? All of the chubby girls in the world see nonstop images of women that look nothing like them and are then told that they are not good enough or pretty enough to do anything other than collect cats and order from Eat24. (Shout out to that life though, I lived it and loved it.)

The point here is not to make you feel bad or go out and hug your neighborhood fatty. The point is that everyone is trying so hard to just get through the day without dying in a nuclear war. The last thing we need is to be concerned about what we all think of each other’s body.

Do better.

-Jordan